Why yes, she IS a raving lunatic...

It's official...I'm going crazy...mad, nutso, bonkers, off-my-rocker...a full order of fries short of a freaking happy meal... And not in a nice, one day your meandering through a field picking daisys in your mind and come upon a cute little monkey and then someday in that same thought the monkey turns into a savage man-eating monkey and then years later they find you in a corner muttering, "Don't close your eyes or the monkey will eat you" crazy... Oh NO...this is more like one day you "wake up, run a hundred miles an hour into a brick wall over and over again because the voices in your head tell you too" crazy!

To truly explain said crazy, let me start two weeks ago...5 months hit with a jolt...of adrenaline at 5 am and a sudden need to "frame pictures that I have had for 4 years in a box with plans to hang them someday"...I laughed at myself and rolled over to go back to sleep...and tried for the next 2 HOURS...with no success to the point where I finally got up, put on clothes and went to Walmart...which didn't have any frames I liked, but happened to have an armful of other things that seemed overwhelmingly important for the house...that led to AC Moore where I eventually found the frames, went back to the house, framed them, hung them and by this time got hungry and started breakfast...

Since then I've been driven by a "need" to get my house in order that is a like a warm hum in the back of my mind, but overall not hugely abnormal...honestly, I've chalked it up to the fact that now we know it's a boy I'm starting to picture him and the nursery and all the little things that he'll need and more...normal mom stuff...mom wanting to make the perfect little home for her perfect little man...

Until 4:30 this morning...

I had NO IDEA that the advent of bringing the crib into our house would set me off in to a downward spirl straight for the big house with "nice young men and their clean white coats"...trust me, I'd be happy to see them right now...they'd have sedatives...which means I would be sleeping...instead of fighting an overpowering feeling to get out of bed, find a flashlight and...

COUNT THE DAMN HARDWARE FOR THE CRIB AND MAKE SURE IT'S ALL HERE...

Mind you the instructions are attached to a piece of the crib...which is in the room where we're sleeping...in the dark...also take into consideration that I have no idea whether or not the stupid instructions ACTUALLY tell you how many pieces of everything you need ANYWAY!  Not to mention the fact that a quick trip to a hardware store will (most likely) fix the absence of any piece that we could possibly need for the dumb crib...

But the urge hit me like a ton of bricks...so I rolled over to my rational husband and told him I'm going mad and proceeded to tell him what I wanted to do...most men at this point would go sleep in another room for fear of their lives, but Ricky took it in stride and said okay we can count it...to which I said "WHAT?! That's crazy, I'm not giving into this...this doesn't make any sense at ALL!  I don't know whether to laugh or cry about this"...So I chuckled, cried a little (which somehow THAT reaction made sense to me) and snuggled in as he held me while I tried to calm my nerves and heartrate and go back to sleep...

*tossing and turning*

As you can see (if this blog documents time, I don't remember)...an hour + has past...so I decided to get up and try "blogging therapy"...plus I think it's important that you all know what to expect when you see me twitching and muttering "Hardware" in the corner : P I have no idea if this "insane urge" will let me sleep anytime soon...maybe Ricky's right...maybe I should just count the stupid hardware and get some peace...but somehow that feels like I'd be allowing myself to fall that much deeper into this madness...which apparently is called "Nesting".

Ugh...I LOVE being pregnant...